I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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