we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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