wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
