thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
