i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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