VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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