well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize