he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
