I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
