i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Be still, my beating vagina.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
