he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
