she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
