you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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