I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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