There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Randomize
