I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize