I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
