I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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