I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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