can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
