What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it because I queefed?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
