Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
from now on my penis is your penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
