You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
