what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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