Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
