I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
