hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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