Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
