party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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