How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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