He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize