So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I still have a little drunk in my system
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
