Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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