Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
