Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
