She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
