epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
