He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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