Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
