this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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