i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize