Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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