I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Brb crying the tears of my youth
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
