I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
