I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
