just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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