I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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