did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
