he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
