i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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