You made me cry and you don't even care
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's the barista slut.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
