Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
