I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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