Cold hands, warm shart.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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