I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
