Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Less talking, more tequila
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize