so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
