Say something about gay babies.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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