why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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