Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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