it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I party with great urgency now.
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